6/3/20; Week 7: Response to Culture and Psychology Video

In his lecture on culture and psychology, Brother Ivers discusses the concept of the culturally created ought self. (See his lecture here: https://video.byui.edu/media/06+Culture+and+Psychology/0_s4h3d6bc.) This term refers to the cultural expectation of what we as a person should be, what we ought to be, essentially. For me, the ought self I envision is a product of American culture and American Mormon culture. Brother Ivers explains that when our real self (who we actually are) differs from the culturally created ought self we envision, often our self-esteem suffers as a result. Although I’ve come a long way in combatting that tendency in my own mind, I’ve definitely seen that happen, both to me and people I care about. For example, as a 32-year-old American Mormon woman, sometimes I feel bad about the fact that I am not yet married and have no children, because that’s what American Mormon culture tells me the ought self is for a 32-year-old American Mormon woman. I have other single friends who feel the same way.

It's difficult, but necessary, for us to examine the ought selves our culture creates for us. We need to critically think about these ought selves, and leave behind those which don’t actually make sense. Our self-esteem shouldn’t suffer because of irrational, illogical, culturally created ought selves. We need to make peace with our real selves and realize that who we really are is good enough.

As a future TESOL teacher, being aware of this concept of ought selves and real selves will help me better understand and better help my students. Being aware of this concept, I can better understand the pressures my students face, both from their native culture and their new culture in America. This will help me more accurately interpret their behaviors and feelings. Because I understand my students better, I am better prepared to help them deal with these pressures. If their self-esteem is suffering because of differences between their ought selves and real selves, I will be better prepared to (hopefully!) help them see things more clearly, evaluate themselves more clearly, and build up their self-esteem. Self-esteem is so important in the classroom; without it, students will fail to learn because they won’t believe in themselves. But the more I am aware of the pressures they face, the better I can hopefully help them deal with those pressures, cope, and continue forward in their language learning journey.

6/1/20; Week 7: Response to Differences in Manners Video and Reading

Most of my international travel experiences have been to different places in Europe, and although there are definitely many cultural differences between the U.S. and various European countries, and differences between the various European countries themselves, there are also a lot of similarities. The website “13 Examples of Good and Bad Manners Around the World” (https://people.howstuffworks.com/13-examples-of-good-and-bad-manners-around-the-world.htm#page=0) pointed out a couple of the differences between U.S. manners and European manners – for example, chewing gum is considered vulgar in France, Switzerland, and Luxembourg – but the bigger differences in manners seem to be between the U.S. and Asia, or the U.S. and the Middle East. So I’ve missed out on a lot of the larger differences in manners that exist in foreign countries, since most of my travels have been in Europe.

What this website, along with Brother Ivers’s lecture on differences in manners around the world (see his lecture here: https://video.byui.edu/media/06+Difference+in+Manners/0_xc0a34gb), made abundantly clear to me was just how many cultural differences exist. It seems that for almost every small custom you can think of, there will be somewhere in the world that does it differently. It definitely makes me want to be more aware of potential differences in manners when I travel places – I’ll certainly be doing more research before travelling in the future!

The sheer number of tiny differences in cultures makes the prospect of actually living in a foreign country daunting, but that is what my future ESL students in the United States will be doing – learning to live in a foreign country. And to do it successfully, they may sometimes need someone to point out differences in manners they may have not picked up on yet. As their ESL teacher, I am in a prime position to notice differences in manners, and to point them out to my students when they arise. I believe doing so is an important part of being an ESL teacher. It’s not just about teaching the language. I need to help my students understand the culture of America as well if they are to be successful in their new home.

6/1/20; Week 7: Response to Cross-Cultural Students in the Classroom Video

In Brother Ivers’s lecture about cross-cultural students in the American classroom (watch his lecture here: https://video.byui.edu/media/06+Cross-Cultural+Students+in+the+Classroom/0_r2lcaswt), he pointed out that when we have students who come from different cultures than we do, if their behavior ever strikes us as disrespectful or disruptive or odd in some way, we should never jump to conclusions. Chances are, their behavior is the result of them having different cultural paradigms than us, so to them, their behavior wasn’t disrespectful or disruptive at all!

As a future TESOL teacher, this concept is of crucial importance, since all of my students will be from different cultures than I am. I must keep an open mind, and not judge my students by my personal cultural paradigms, understanding that theirs are different than mine.

I don’t think this means that I should let any and all behavior be allowed in my classroom, though. If I did that, I think it would be different to foster a cohesive and functional learning environment. There do need to be classroom rules and standards. But when a student does something that seems inappropriate, rather than assuming that the student is misbehaving, my automatic assumption ought to be that their behavior stems from a different cultural paradigm. Then, if the behavior is something that is truly inappropriate in American culture, I should use the moment as a teaching opportunity. Instead of judging them for “misbehaving,” I should teach them what constitutes appropriate behavior in America, the country they are trying to live in now, to help them start to fit in better in their new home.

To me, this is the implication of Brother Ivers’s advice not to judge the behavior of people from other cultures: I should give them the benefit of the doubt, but I shouldn’t necessarily allow any behavior in my classroom. I should teach them the cultural norms of their new home, so that they can succeed living in America.